Ask Amy: Family’s neighborhood party rocked by troubled child

Advice: You don’t actually know what is causing this boy’s behavior problems. You obviously assume that his behavior is his parents’ fault. It doesn’t help to speculate, claim expertise — or to judge these parents too harshly.

DEAR AMY: We live in a small, close-knit community. Our family hosts large, fun, family-centered community parties each year.

A set of neighborhood friends have three children. Two of their kids are amazing, wonderful kids. Their oldest child (aged 10) has horrible behavioral problems that are unchecked by his parents.

These issues are not neurological; they are strictly behavioral. Though the other families in our community dislike this child, they tolerate him in the name of community harmony.

At the last party we held, this boy grabbed a girl his age by the neck during a game and screamed, “I’m going to kill you!”

The kids who witnessed this were traumatized. I spoke to the parents about

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